A Flash in the Pan
 

What is the first thing you think of if you're over 30 and you hear the word Flash? Flashdance! Get out your leg warmers (you know you still have them), your big hair, and let's boogie!

Of course if you're under 30 or actually living in the present, you might think of Flash web animation. Flash came on the scene several years ago, and was very quickly overused. Whenever you see a website with text and graphics flying around, fading in and out, or just bouncing around maniacally, that's Flash animation.

Flash is often used in a website's intro page. What you usually see when you visit one of these websites, along with the Flash animation, is a Skip Intro button. There's a reason for this — after a few seconds of flying graphics, most animations are annoying time-wasters. In addition, they usually have no real relationship with the actual purpose of the site.

Another issue with Flash animation is the fact that, as a graphic object, it contains no text. This is a problem for search engines which index web pages based on relevant text. Flash objects are virtually invisible.

Of course a personal website, or something produced just for fun can use Flash to advantage. For somebody that sells awesome Hannah Montana tchochkes to 12-year-olds, Flash may be a useful way to get their attention (or hold it for more than 4 seconds). As is usually the case, the intended audience is a critical factor.

Most businesses might want to think twice before investing in Flash technology. As an example, a company that sells insurance may not find it beneficial to have dancing whole-life policies, even if they sport big hair and wear leg warmers.

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Search Engine Optimization!

by John Gutekunst

With energy prices sky-high, almost everyone is looking for a way to improve their gas mileage. Now Search Engine Optimization (SEO) sounds promising — engine and optimize — it sounds like just what you need. But alas, no such luck.

SEO actually involves making sure web pages are configured in the best possible manner for search engines to index them, so that they are more easily found by people searching on the internet.

What this means is that the search engines use a set of instructions (algorithm) to rank each web page based on different criteria. When someone does a search on the internet, a page with a higher rank will appear ahead of others in the search list.

The criteria are varied, and they change over time as the search engines become more sophisticated. Included among the important search criteria are such things as site structure, keywords, and relevant links and text. Attempts to fool the system by such methods as repeating keywords or using unrelated phrases can result in being black listed by the search engines.

SEO can be a complicated process, in fact there are people who just specialize in this field. In addition it can be an expensive process. As with any business decision, the returns have to justify the costs. There are things you can do, however, that won't cost a thing — check the air in your tires, get a tune-up, remove extra weight from your trunk . . .

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by John Gutekunst

I have a friend who makes a delicious pumpkin soup, and serves it in a hollowed out pumpkin — a truly elegant presentation. I encouraged him to try something new, in other words to think outside the gourd. He rejected split pea soup served in a pea (I don't know why), and we both decided against mock turtle soup, realizing that we didn't know what a mock was or how to hollow one out. We finally decided on:

Borscht in a Beet

For this recipe you will need 1 bunch medium beets, a drill press fitted with a forstner bit, butter, onions, leeks, celery, carrot, garlic, chicken stock, fresh dill and sour cream.

Slice top and bottom off each beet (figure 2.5), and clamp into drill press. Drill down into the beet using a forstner (flat-bottomed) drill bit that has a diameter that is 1 inch smaller than the diameter of the beet, (figure 7.0).

Saute the resulting beet-dust in butter with onions, leeks, celery, carrot, and garlic, add chicken stock and fresh dill. Serve in beet-bowls garnished with sour cream.

Next Week: In the spirit of equal time, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Vegetables (PETV) will attempt to refute this recipe with their essay "Beet Abuse: the Red Menace."

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